


Thieves in America

by Amada (mindcontrol)



Series: Pick Up A Pen [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And poly, Crime, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, I don't know what I'm doing, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, One Shot, alexander is still addicted to work, are they bad people, are they going to change, brooklyn 99 - Freeform, eliza is pretty, everyones kinda out of character, except Eliza John and Alex, i wrote this in a half comatose so, its kinda shit, john is slightly dickish, no, peggy is amazing, robbers, the relationships are background, who are bi, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 05:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13357302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindcontrol/pseuds/Amada
Summary: Alexander Hamilton is a detective, the best in New York City. He puts away bad guys and tries not to get caught bending the rules. He has a host of friends, but none of them ever tell him what they do.Truth is, they don't tell him because then he'd have to arrest them. Alexander's friends are the most successful thieves in America.





	Thieves in America

**Author's Note:**

> Woop, the police setup is kinda based on what I have seen on Brooklyn 99 because I don't actually know how the police work.  
> Aight so it's more of a ficlet (or a One shot I guess). 
> 
> Basically a 'my friends are major criminals and I'm the detective assigned to their case but I don't know and they feel bad but not that bad because they just made like five mil' au that I just made up.

**Wednesday Morning**

There was another robbery in Alexander's jurisdiction. It was bigger than the last, with nearly three million in goods stolen from the warehouse. The company had a questionable reputation, many sources saying that they used child laborers, but the file on Alexander's desk called for him to find the culprits.

Four months ago, robberys such as this one started popping up all over the place. A bodega in Queens. A house in Brooklyn. A truck in the Bronx. It became so common that on Monday morning Alexander expected to be assigned one of the cases. His captain, George Washington, would walk out of his office to where Alexander sat opposite his partner, Angelica Schuyler, and toss a file onto his lap.

The MO was always the same. Cameras hacked from an outside source, more than one robber, wearing masks of political people. They would take everything, except a single item of worth. That item would be left in the middle of the room and when the camera was turned back on it would be focusing on it.

There wasn't a single lead. Major crimes had tried to step in, only to bust the wrong guys and get benched. The cops in Queens always passed jurisdiction to someone else. No one wanted to take the case, because it was nearly impossible to crack. It was like the robbers knew how the police worked, and what they wouldn't find.

"Hamilton, use the rest of the team," Washington ordered, retreating back into his office and locking the door. He left the blinds open, so they could see that he was rubbing at his face. Washington was beyond stressed.

Alexander sighed. His team were amazing, but he worked better alone.

"What's the file say?" Reynolds said, using chopsticks to shovel noddles into her mouth. She had 'forgotten' to order some for everybody else, but Alexander had managed to get her bag of spring rolls and munched on one. Reynolds kicked her feet up on her desk, dressed inappropriately for work, but she had just got back from an undercover assignment so the captain couldn't complain.

"Same as always," Alexander said, glancing over the report. "Oh, look, they managed to get a picture this time."

"Can you see anything?" Burr asked. He was looking uninterested, a normal look for himself.

"Yah, they used Mike Pence this time," Alexander laughed. The masks always had a strickung resemblance to who they were supposed to be, but something was always slightly different. This time, Mike Pence was painted in a full face of makeup. "He's a drag queen. Glitter and everything."

"God, let me see," Reynolds said, grinning widely. Alex tossed her the file, biting into another spring roll. "He looks like my uncle José."

"Your uncle José looks like Mike Pence?" Angelica questioned. She was the sister to Alexander's girlfriend, Eliza, but she was much less warm. She gave Reynolds an unbelieving look.

"In the right light," Reynolds said defensively. "Lets go to the scene of the crime."

 

 

 

When they arrived the area had already been taped off. The area police who responded to the call filled them in on what they could, but Alexander could tell their information would be little help.

"Thanks, Harold," he said, looking around the flash warehouse. The warehouse definitely didn't need to look how it did, brand new white walls and a spotless floor. It was hard to believe that there was anything in it in the first place, but the security footage showed that it was stacked to the brim. According to the local officer, the company had been planning to ship it out this morning, boxes full of expensive goods.

"It's actually Henry, sir," the officer corrected.

"Yeah, Hugo."

"Ignore him, Henry," Angelica said, glaring at Alexander. Alexander didn't notice, he was too busy staring intently at the Rolex watch laying on the glass table. The items left were seemingly random, but there had to be a meaning to them.

"Get some pictures, Maria," Burr said to Reynolds, handing the woman the camera. "I have a feeling this is going to take a long time."

Reynolds snapped several pictures, and Alexander pulled his glove on to pick up the watch. It cost more than his yearly salary, but what was odd was the single scratch mark on the face. Everything that was usually left was in peak condition, taken out of its box or wiped down so not even the owners fingerprints were on it. Maybe they didn't notice, but Alexander doubted that. These were professionals, the best he hadn't come across, and there had to be a reason.

"Schuyler, what do you think?" Alex asked, riding from his crouched position. Angelica had managed to get rid of Henry, and made her way to his side.

"What?" She said.

"It's scratched." Angelica took the watched from his hands, and turned it over. When she looked at the scratch, the watch almost touching her face, she frowned.

"Its very deliberate," she muttered. "Looks like someone meant to make it."

"With a sharp object?" Angelica nodded. "Reynolds, Burr, search the warehouse. Every square inch. Every shelf."

"What are we looking for?"

"Anything," Alexander said. "Absolutely anything would help."

 

 

 **Thursday**  

"And what do they fucking mean?" Alexander exclaimed from the couch. Eliza and John were in the kitchen just behind him, listening to him rambling. They were cooking, Alexander having opted out so he could stress over work.

"How are we supposed to know?" John replied, an edge to his voice. "Do you want to go to the movies on Friday?"

"I can't, Washington's having us work this case until we solve it," Alexander said, standing up and walking into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around John's waist, leaning his head on the man's shoulder. "Which is so going to eat into our weekend."

"Ah, the hardships of being a pig," John said. Alexander pulled away and put a hand dramatically to his heart.

"Don't be mean, John," Eliza said. She kissed Alexander's cheek softly. "I'm sure you'll figure it out, Alex, just give it time."

"At least someone loves me," Alexander said, pulling Eliza into a hug. He glared jokingly at John, who rolled his eyes.

"If I didn't love you two, I wouldn't be making this food right now," he replied. Alexander hummed, pulling Eliza back to the couch with him. "Hey! She's supposed to be helping me."

"Five minutes," Alexander said from where he had buried his head in the crook of Eliza's neck. She laughed sweetly, pulling his head up to plant a kiss on his lips. The couch beside Alexander dropped, signalling that John had forgone the dinner to get some attention himself. "Jealous?"

John replied by kissing Eliza, leaning over Alexander to do it. Alexander pouted. He knew John was only doing it to annoy him, but when he was stressed he reverted back to small child mentality.

"Okay, I'm not here then," he said. John chuckled.

"Oh, sorry, didn't see you there."

"Very funny."

John kissed Alexander, bringing the other man to smile. "Look at us three, together we make perfect sense," Eliza said. She always said it to remind them that no matter what other people said, they belonged together. Sitting next to each their on the couch, they made sense. Apart, everything was less -

"Holy shit!" Alexander jumped up from the sofa, accidentally throwing John back in the process. "Holy shit, holy shit!"

He ran to the front door, skidding on his shoes and coat. He grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter and placed a kiss on John and Eliza's foreheads.

"Alex, where are you going?" Eliza asked.

"I need to go into work, ill call you on my way home," he said, already half way out the door with his phone pressed to his ear. "Angelica, yeah."

Then the door slammed shut and Eliza turned to John with her arms folded. "You need to tell him."

"What? And make him chose between throwing me, and everyone else, in jail or fleeing the country to avoid it? No thank you."

"What if he figures it out?" Eliza persisted, following him into the kitchen. "You left some pretty big clues."

"They could lead to anyone," John said. "He won't, don't worry."

"And can you live with yourself, lying to him like this," Eliza said, making her way out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. "Because I don't think I can."

 

 

 

**Friday**

"Together they make perfect sense," Alexander said, laying down the Rolex at the end of the line. They had obtained the evidence bags from the eight other cases, and lined them up in chronological order. The team stared at them.

"Its not making any sense," Burr said. Alexander whipped around, pointing his finger at the other man.

"It's because you don't believe," he said. Burr rolled his eyes.

"Why don't we write down what they are, might help," Reynolds suggested.

"Good idea," Alexander said. They wrote down what each of the items were on a slip of paper, then put it in front of the item. "Okay. Apple Mac. Louis Vuitton bag. Escada Cardigan. XENIA BOUS necklace. Alexander McQueen leather jacket. Natasha Zinko dress. Delfina Delettrez ring. Emilio Puccis dress. Rolex watch."

"Why these items? They're neither the most expensive nor the least expensive item," Angelica said, sitting down on the floor and staring at the items like it would help. The rest of the team followed her lead.

Reynolds was muttering under her breath, repeating the names of the items over and over again. She worked best with words, something Alexander found out after loosing epically to her at scrabble.

"Alex, I think I know why these were left behind," Reynolds said, shock and fear in her voice.

"Why?" Alexander questioned, moving closer to the objects as Reynolds began to explain. She picked up the pieces of paper as she went.

"Apple is A. Louis Vuitton is L. Escada is E. XENIA BOUS is X," she paused, looking at Alex to see if he hadn't figured it out yet, but he hadn't. "Alexander McQueen is A. Natasha Zinko is N. Delfina Delettrez is D. Emilio Puccis is E. Rolex is R."

"A, L, E, X, A, N, D, E, R," Alex muttered, his eyes going wide and his heart pounding in his chest. "Alexander. These were left for me."

"That means the robbers must know you, or know of you," Angelica said. "We need to figure this out quickly, before we run out of time." Towards the end of her words her voice became very quiet. She picked up the Rolex and inspected it.

"What is it?" Burr asked as Alexander and Reynolds wrote their findings on the whiteboard at the front of the room.

"The scratch," Angelica said. "It's a metaphor. We are running out of time."

"What did the forensics say it was made with?" Burr asked. Angelica stood up and took the watch over to Reynolds and Alexander, Burr following her.

"A scalpel or razor, never or rarely used before," Angelica replied. "They said it's a very clean cut, so no digs in the edges of the scalpel or razor. They said it was probably cut by someone who knew how to use them, like a doctor, biologist, or even an artist."

"That narrows our list down significantly more than it hadn't before," Reynolds said. "We should ask stores around the area if anyone purchased a scalpel or blade recently."

"We have an approximate height and build of the four people," Burr said. "5'10, medium to thin build. 6'2, medium build. 6'4, medium to buff build. 6'4, buff build. Can you see any skin colour in this?"

Alexander studied the picture, catching a small glimpse of a wrist from the shortest robber. "The shortest one is Caucasian or Latino. I can't really tell. Reynolds, you and I will take the stores south and west of the warehouse. Burr and Schuyler, you two take north and east."

"How far north and east?" Angelica asked, her bag already on her shoulder. "I can't imagine there that man you stored that sell scalpels."

"Until you're out of New York City," Alex said. "We need to find who did it."

 

 

**Saturday**

"So, I've been searching up where they could possibly get these masks from," Reynolds said, tapping away at her computer in the passenger seat of the car. They had decided to start on the west side of the building, at an arts and crafts store. "Because they're like really good and I doubt they made them themselves because they look almost identical each time, not to mention-"

"Maria, the point," Alex interrupted, pulling into the car park of the art store.

"Oh right," Maria said. She turned her laptop screen to face Alexander, where a website was pulled up.

"This is for a bakery," Alex said. Maria had a tendency to get distracted on the job.

"I know, but, if we look a little deeper," she said, typing quickly. The website changed from light and welcoming to serious. "They make realistic masks."

"Illegal?" Alexander questioned.

"That's why it's hidden."

"Where is it?"

"East Village," Maria answered. "Right near your apartment."

"Not Emanuel's Bakery?" Alexander groaned.

"The one and only."

"No, I love that place," Alex said. "I don't want to shut it down."

"I don't want you to shut it down either," Maria said. She closed her laptop and hid it in the dashboard. Alexander refused to drive a police vehicle, instead using an undercover black luxury car, that he may or may not take home with him. "We should go in."

The arts and crafts store was a bust. The owner didn't remember anyone fitting the descriptions coming in, and the security footage showed up nothing. They tried several other stores in Manhattan until they reached Emanuel's Bakery.

"I don't have a warrant so we'll just ask if they've seen someone fitting the descriptions," Alexander said.

"We could say we know and if they give us information we can get them off the hook," Maria suggested, pushing open the door.

"That's a lie though," Alexander said.

"Welcome," the man behind the counter called.

"Hello, sir, we'd like to ask you a few questions," Alex said, stepping up to the glass showcase that was in front of the man.

"Is that Alexander Hamilton?" A voice from the back table asked. It was french, and Alex knew exactly who it belonged to.

"Laf, I'm working," he said.

"Ah, you're always working," Lafayette said, standing next to his friend. "Join the dark side. I have liquid cake."

"Pie," Alex corrected. "And this is a private investigation. I'm going to need you to leave."

"What?" Lafayette said dramatically.

"You're s gossip mill, Laf."

"Moi? Impossible."

"Gilbert Lafayette, don't make me call your mother," Alex threatened, only half joking.

"Fine, fine," Laf said, putting his hands in the air. "Dinner tonight?"

"Maybe, probably not, I don't know how long this case is going to take."

 

 

 

 

 

"He's at Manny's," Lafayette said, falling into a bean bag on the floor. Thomas shrugged, sipping a smoothie.

"So? Alex loves Manny's," he said, looking at James for confirmation.

"It's true," James nodded. "He almost ate himself into a coma a couple months ago."

"He was working," Lafayette said, he looked pointedly at one of the boxes lying on the coffee table. They often kept anything they couldn't sell at Thomas and James' because Alex didn't frequent their house ('Look, just because I kind of get on with them now, doesn't mean I want to go in their den of evil and bad political views').

"Manny won't say anything," James said. "Alex will never suspect us."

"If anyone can figure it out it's Alex," Hercules said, frowning. "And he has Burr, Angelica, and Reynolds to help him."

"Mon amour is right," Lafayette said. "We need to lead him away."

"No," James said. He was the brains behind everything. He hacked the cameras, found Manny, knew when and how much to sell for. "We do nothing. We don't want him getting suspicious of us. He's loyal enough to never believe it unless we admit it, which we won't."

"I think we should lay low, not stew anymore," Thomas said. "We are set for quite some years now."

"Remind me again why we started this?" Laf complained.

 

 

 

"He didn't squeal," Maria said once they finished filling in the captain, Burr, and Schuyler about their findings. "We're going to need a warrant."

"Get legal on it," Washington said. "Did you check everywhere for the store?"

"We didn't get to check lower Manhattan, sir," Alex said. We went over into Brooklyn and checked on our way back here."

"All of you, go, lower Manhattan," Washington said. "The FBI are on my back. Hamilton, wait."

The others left the captains office, leaving Alex with Washington. "I want you to go home and rest."

"What? But, sir, the team needs me," Alexander protested.

"Son, you look like you haven't slept in a month," Washington said. "Go home, be with your family and friends. Lee will go with the others."

"Lee? But Lee's useless."

"Alex, they won't make a arrest without you," Washington said. "I promise."

"Fine, but I won't have fun."

 

 

 

 

"Alex, I thought you said you were going to be working all weekend," John said when Alex walked in the front door. Alex threw his keys on the counter top and dropped onto the couch next to John without taking his jacket or shoes off.

"I was, but Washington sent me home because I look like I haven't slept in two weeks," Alex replied, sighing loudly.

"You haven't really," John said.

"Where's Liza?"

"At work."

"Whatcha doing?" Alex asked, kicking his shoes off and tossing husband jacket on the arm of the couch. John lent forward to the coffee table and picked up a canvas.

"Trying to finish this painting," he replied. At the moment it didn't look like much, but Alexander had seen John paint before, and knew it was going to turn out amazing. "I can't figure it out though."

"Take a break," Alex said. "Lets watch a movie."

"A cop movie?" John grinned.

"Ugh, no," Alexander groaned. "I want to quit. I never want to see another criminal again."

John didn't reply.

"Can we order something in?" Alex asked. He fully intended to forget about his case, no matter how difficult it was.

"Sure, do you want to invite everyone round?"

"Yeah."

Lafayette and Hercules arrived with a case of beer and grins. "It's been ages since we've seen each other, mon ami."

"I saw you this morning."

"Yes, and you insulted my liquid cake," Lafayette said. "But I forgive."

"It's pie, Laf," Hercules said. "But he's right, we hardly ever hang out anymore."

"I'm sorry," Alex said, though it wasn't really his fault. If people just stopped robbing places, then he would get more free time. "Come in. We ordered Chinese."

Peggy arrived a little while later, with some Captain Morgans and a box of donuts. "Can't have movie buff without donuts."

Thomas and James arrived just as Eliza got home from work. Thomas bought some fancy wine (which Lafayette appreciated) and James bought more beer.

"I hope Wash doesn't want me to work tomorrow," Alexander said as he accepted the rum and coke Peggy made. His friends had completely taken over their living room. They scattered blankets and pillows over the floor, and the Chinese was littered in between bowls of chips and candy. Alex felt like he wasn't at a sleepover at six years old with irresponsible parents.

"I vote Princess Diaries," Lafayette said, picking up a DVD from the floor. He and Hercules had found every DVD Alex, John, and Eliza owned and spread them out on the floor to choose from.

"Pirates of the Caribbean," Peggy countered.

"Shrek."

"No way," James said. "We've watched that four times this week."

"Shrek 2."

" Les Miserables."

"Eliza wants everyone to cry," John said. "How 'bout a Disney movie?"

"Like pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Cinderella."

"No. Smow White."

"Frozen."

"Beauty and the Beast."

"I change my vote to Beauty and the Beast because I'm in love with Emma Watson," Peggy said, nodding her head at Alex, grateful he had suggested it.

"I'm done with Beauty and the Beast," Hercules said. No one objected so he slid the disk into the tv.

They watched Beauty and the Beast, then Freaky Friday, then Mean Girls. Alex laughed harder than he had in weeks. He missed spending time with his friends, getting drunk and not worrying about criminals.

They were half way through mean girls when there was a buzz from the front door. Alex stumbled up to answer it, pressing the button and slurring out, "Who is it?"

"Your favourite people in the world," came Maria's voice from the speaker.

"Impossible, I am my favourite people in the world."

"Alex open up," Burr said. "Washington told us to come get you."

"Tell Washington to suck a dick."

"Are you drunk? I think he's drunk guys," Maria said.

"Do you want to loose your job, Alex?" Burr said, getting increasingly annoyed.

"Yes."

"No you don't," Angelica spoke, and Alex saw Peggy hide her noodles from the corner of his eye. Angelica had a reputation for stealing Peggy's food.

"How do you know?"

"Because you overstate." Alex couldn't argue with that.

"It better be important."

"It is," Burr said. "Are you alone?"

"No, everyone's he-"

They cut him off, opening the door and saying "Don't move."

"What's that?" John asked, trying to get Alex to sit next to him again.

"The party poopers," Peggy said. Alex saw John stiffen and look to Lafayette, who looked to James, who kept his eyes fixed on the door. It was strange, but Alexander was too drunk to think into it.

"Alex?" Reynolds called from outside the door. Alex opened it and his colleagues burst in with their guns out. John, Lafayette, Hercules, Thomas, and James jumped up, and Eliza moved closer to Peggy.

"Woah, woah," Alex said, putting his hands up and standing between his friends and his colleagues.

"Alexander move," Angelica said, though she kept glancing at Eliza and Peggy in the corner. "'Move!"

"What's happening?" Alex asked.

"These five are the robbers Alex," Burr said. "Manny finally talked."

And just like that, Alexander's world came crashing down. The water rose around his ears and he willingly let it drag him down.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tumblr cliotas.


End file.
